It's you and me forever
by silvereyed angel
Summary: Loneliness never really goes away..  JONAS la


**This happens when I get angsty, so luckily for the Jonas Brothers, I don't own them.  
There's some adult content and gore coming up, be warned, but mostly…  
enjoy, **

* * *

I can still hear those words leaving my mouth. I can feel their shape on my lips and their sound in my ears.  
I didn't know they would doom me, I had no clue it would end like this.

"Everything is amazing. All the fans' support and all the projects we're working on. It's mind blowing. Sometimes I wish we could stop the time and just stay in this moment forever."

The smiles on the faces of my two older brothers were genuine and happy. They agreed with me for one hundred percent.  
All the fans in the audience sighed with their love for us in a moment of silence before they started screaming at Joe, who smiled brightly at them. I noticed Stella giving me the thumbs up from backstage, Macy beside her. Her heart-shaped face thoughtful.  
Even our latest interrogator flicked a smile in our direction.  
He was a bastard, sure, but it was hard not to hear the complete honesty in my voice. It was hard not to smile for us.  
And supposedly, it was hard not to listen to us.

* * *

"Joe!" I dodged away behind the cereal, laughing as he tried to aim another spoon of yoghurt towards my face. It was Sunday morning and Joe and I were behaving exactly like we should on an early Sunday morning. He was being goofy, I was slightly annoyed.

"Come on, Nick! Lighten up. Yoghurt won't hurt you!" He all but yelled at me, carefully stepping around Kevin, who was reading the newspaper, and making the yoghurt explode on the fridge with a wet splash.  
I moved with him, grabbing my own spoon and filling it with his cereal. "Knowing you, Joe. I think it will." I was now hiding behind the milk.

"Come on out and play, Nicky, fight me like a man! Au Guard!" He yelled and I felt droplets of yoghurt hit my face when he splashed Kevin's untouched bowl.

"It's 'En Garde' Joseph and I…" I should've known better then to stand up and lecture him, this was a very stupid mistake on my side, for a disgusting blodge of liquid hit me square in the face.  
Wiping it from my eyes I was graced with Joe's amused smirk. "I know." He merely shrugged, before he triumphantly sat down again.  
I huffed, glaring at my older brother before I followed his example and softly nudged Kevin in the shin.  
"Hey, bro. What's up with you?" He was unusually silent.

"Don't you usually love epic breakfast-battles? We're unsupervised, now, remember?" Joe flicked a piece of cereal towards my face.

"Not now, guys. Something serious is going on."

We stopped goofing immediately, staring at him.

"Something's happening in LA. Last night, a girl went missing, right here in our neighbourhood. Her identity isn't revealed yet, but…" He trailed off. "They think she's been kidnapped. It's the third severe incident in a month. First that celebrity thief that stole close personal objects from famous people…" –"I still want my tambourine back."— "Then that rape a few blocks away…" I shuddered at the thought. "And now this. It's the big city we're in now and it's not the safest either. We really need to tell Macy and Stella not to go out so often, or at least not without us."

There was an awkward silence after that. Stella's aunt was out for the week and somehow, the absence of such a supervising authority, even in the form of Aunt Lisa, was worrisome.  
Stella's parents called every once in a while, as did ours, but it was just the five of us and Macy's parents probably didn't even care. They never called either way. Poor Macy.

"We really do need to tell the girls to be careful." Joe piped up and I could tell he was pretending nothing would ever happen to us.

"So do you, Joe." I mumbled in his direction, watching him swallow.

"Has the police found any evidence yet?" I asked Kevin, since information never hurt.

"No. That's the tricky part. The girl was apparently driving home with a girlfriend and nobody knows what happened." His eyes focussed the newspaper again.

"Was the other girl okay?" Joe stole the words right out of my mind.

"Yeah, they say she's at the police station right now. Families haven't been contacted yet. How weird, when it's in the newspapers already."

"We _do_ live in the world of new-media." I sarcastically noted. "And in the country where pizza gets to you faster then an ambulance."  
Beneath the sarcasm, I was really worried though, for I had noticed what the others hadn't yet.  
Stella's car was broken. They went out last night. In Macy's, Stella's _friend's, _car.

As if on cue, a loud blaring voice made us jump in our seats and we heard a car pulling up to our drive-way. Sirens. Police-sirens. The air thickened around us.  
All three of us looked at each other in horror before we sprinted to the door.

Kevin almost pulled it out of its sockets, but froze when it was open. Both me and Joe ran into him, stumbling outside.  
There was a police car, a very sad looking police-officer and Macy, with dishevelled hair and a frantic look, stepping out of the car.

"Macy!" I yelled, trying to wiggle out of my brothers' long limbs. I was the first to succeed in climbing to my feet, quickly followed by the other two as I walked towards her.  
I expected Stella to come out of the car too and I expected Macy to fall into my arms.  
None of that happened. Stella didn't come out and Macy only as much as glanced at me.

She just stared at Joe, her big brown eyes apologetic. It was strange that I saw no fright, but I understood once she spoke.

"I should've thought about it… I shouldn't have... Oh Joe" She sighed miserably, like whatever happened was her fault. I couldn't see her face, but it had to be sad. "Stella…"  
Joe just stared at her. Like her expression was something to frown about.

Then, as if realisation dawned on him, he grabbed her shoulders. "Macy?"

Her hands were shaky and I didn't even feel the envy when she took his and whispered: "Stella and you. I thought, Oh god, I'm so sorry."

Joe paled. His skin literally grew several shades lighter until it was a sickening yellowish-white.

"I think you may already know this." The officer then spoke and she pointed to the newspaper in Kevin's hand. "But we believe your friend has been kidnapped."

It was like something in my brain disconnected and I could only stare at the woman, unable to believe that the girl Kevin had told us about just minutes ago was, in fact, Stella. Our Stella. Sweet, blonde, designer-of-my-clothes, Stella that I'd known for all my life, because she was Joe's other half.

"What happened?" I asked, because even shocked like this I was the one with the most common sense.

"We have no leads so far, since Ms. Misa here was unable to witness anything, but we are working on it. We have our best people on the case. Now if you will, please take Ms. Misa to her room or another safe and trusted environment, she's been through a lot the last couple of hours. After that, we might want to sit down for a minute, if that is okay with you."

My eyes immediately connected with Kevin and he nodded. We both knew I should be the one to talk to the officer, since my brain was the least hazed at the moment and we both knew Joe had to be there too, because of Stella.  
It wasn't a conscious decision. It was survival-instinct.  
I watched as my oldest sibling pried Macy from Joe's hold and guided her inside. Macy's walk was strong, I was thankful for that. Because I knew what must lay beneath that.  
I closed my eyes when they were gone, taking a deep breath before I focussed on the officer. Extending my hand to the house I said; "Please, let's discuss this inside."

* * *

We spend the following days travelling back and forth between the police station and home. I didn't know what I preferred.  
The police station was exhausting and saddening. Every time we were there, there were either crying families, screaming criminals or half-dead victims of violence and mentally unstable druggies.  
The looks on their faces were the faces of the dark side of humankind, a world I'd never experienced before. A world so dark I may hope no-one had ever been there. I was extremely cautious of my brothers when we were in that place, watching out for them, but it was mostly Macy my eyes were on.

Macy was always in between one of us, silently clasping her own hands together nervously. She observed everything that was going on. Where I would look away from the things I didn't want to see. She just kept looking, almost interested.  
She'd always been extremely observant. It was hard to do something without Macy noticing you and knowing exactly how and why you were doing it.  
Right now, I wish she didn't and stopped noticing all the details around her. But I figured it was her way of distracting herself.

We were all thoroughly questioned by the policemen. Wanting to know if we saw, heard or knew something that could be of value to the investigation.  
Of course, none of us did. Kevin, Joe and I hadn't even been there. Macy had, but didn't remember anything of what happened.

It was horrible, especially for Joe, to talk about Stella. Recalling things about her that might help. Thinking of possible enemies and really; nobody thought Vanessa Page capable of such a deed. Though we were told to never 'not-suspect' someone.  
Joe's expression resembled that of a ghost when it was brought up. He didn't care about his past fling with the superstar from forever April anymore; he didn't seem to care for much at the moment. He just shortly answered the questions asked to him and he came back from his private investigation with the same expression on his face as when he went. It was heart breaking. I saw Macy watching him, regret on her face.

Before that day, I hadn't been aware of the fact that a heart could be broken twice on one day.  
Mine did. Because even though my relationship with Stella was far from close, she was my brother's other half. She was someone I worked and lived with on a daily basis. She was family.  
The thought of her innocent face, scared and alone was almost too much to bear and I felt my face wrinkle every time the horrible mental image floated to the surface.  
But neither Joe, Kevin nor myself had really realised what had happened yet. That was the worst part. The real shock came later that day, or the next day, I wasn't completely aware of the time.  
I will spare you the details. The realisation was horrible for all of us.  
All of us but Macy.

* * *

I understood completely what Joe was going through those days, but…  
No, that was a lie, I didn't know. At that point, I had no clue, but I did know he was feeling horrible and everything in his head was messed up. He'd never been without Stella, ever. They had always been attached by the hip. He loved her, not just as his crush, but as his best friend for life.  
They were mates in everything. Perfect for each other since the day they met. I had realised that for a lot of things in his life, Joe had become dependant on Stella. It was physically hard for him to be without her. But even harder mentally.  
And really, how would you feel if one half of you was suddenly and cruelly ripped away from you?  
I would feel completely depressed, horrible. Joe was.  
He didn't really talk; he didn't really do anything, really. He just sat in his room or by the phone, staring at a picture of her in Kevin's car. Taken because the car had been new.  
He didn't exactly cry, not anymore, but he was miserable.  
I understood, we all were, because we loved her. But nobody loved her as much as Joe. Except maybe for Macy, but that was on a whole different level. She was his Stella. He had every right to be obsessive over the phone and her photograph.

But I couldn't let him fade away in his room and neither could Kevin. So we send him out with Macy for a walk, though the cops had warned us not to do so.  
Macy still hadn't quite recovered from her mysterious encounter; she could use the fresh air too.  
She said her memory was a blank when it came to the night Stella disappeared. The doctors told us wasn't unusual and that whoever had attacked them might have knocked Macy unconscious or sedated her. Something had happened that night.  
The worst part, or at least we thought it was the worst part, was the fact that she never really came out of her shock. She was scarily calm. No tears whatsoever.  
I hated that, I hated that she was close to how she always was. Normal.  
We tried to get her out of her shell, as we mourned and waited for any news on Stella. But she was just silent as she observed us. Mostly, she would avoid us and sit in the guest-house, brooding.  
We tried to protect her as much as we could at the same time, from noisy paparazzi to the cops that wanted to hear her blank story over and over again.  
So I send Joe to go on a walk and take her with him. It was his first time out of the house for days and I had to kick him away from the phone, where he was always waiting for an update on Stella.

It never came. Whoever had done this was a downright professional and not intend on giving Stella back.  
For we had received nothing like a demand for ransom. It was killing us all. I felt guilty for not knowing how Joe and Macy felt. I felt worried for the both of them and for Kevin, who blamed it on himself.  
He was the oldest, after all. According to himself, he was supposed to protect us. According to himself he'd failed.  
And I knew it was a lot of bull, nobody could've stopped it from happening, but I knew the feeling. Wasn't I the rational one? The one that saw things like this coming? I hadn't and I couldn't do anything to make things better.  
I was their brother, their friend. But I couldn't reach Joe, though we always read each other perfectly. Macy was silent most of the time and Kevin was constantly busy with doing everything that was demanded of him (as the oldest) and taking care of the technicalities.  
All of our nerves were near to no-where. There was no news on what happened, except for updates on how there was nothing. They only knew they found Macy, lying in the car on the side of the road, so close to the house. Sleeping and unable to remember anything but Stella screaming, apparently.

There was still nothing when they returned and Joe's face fell at my expression, my head resting on my hand and my eyes trying to hold themselves open as I sat in the armchair. I'd grimaced, shook my head.

"Where's Macy?" I softly demanded, raising my throbbing head, immediately worried when I didn't see her by his side. I was scared to death someone would take her too.

"Guest house." He answered shortly, before he stalked back outside himself. Probably going for a run to let out some steam.  
I sighed and called Kevin to guard the phone, I felt guilty for doing so, but I needed a nap.  
No, I needed more then just a nap. I needed unconsciousness. I had had almost no sleep for those last three days, either being interrogated by the police or just too worried to reach the numbness.  
I needed to forget, just for a few hours.

I woke when I felt something dip my bed and I squinted into the soft lighting, evening lighting, which fell through the curtains. It was dark inside my room, but I recognised the lithe form.  
It was Macy; she was seated on the edge of my bed. She just stared at me, her eyes shining. I thought it were tears.

"Hey Mace. What's going on?" I said, sitting up a little and grateful for the fact that I wore a T-shirt, even though it was quite warm outside.

"Nothing. I'm just… I just…" Her voice broke a little. "I'm so scared of losing you!"

"Awe, Macy." I pulled the trembling girl into an awkward embrace (the blankets were sort of tangled around me) "I'm not going anywhere." I said, as she laughed and helped me unwrap.

"You never know." She mumbled. Probably thinking of Stella. Her eyes were black in the lighting. Her face pale like a ghost's.

"Shh." I soothed, pulling her tighter into my arms as I softly stroked her hair.

"I'm just so scared that you'll be gone someday, that I will never see you guys again and that I'll be all alone again! So… I really can't help it. You know?"

I could understand that, Macy was very sensitive when it came to being alone, with her father being an important plastical-surgeon and what not, while her mother spent all her time on her brothers, the shop or her uptight girlfriends. Never on her youngest child.  
Macy had been alone for the greater part of her life in the old Misa house, taking care of herself and finding things to distract from the silence, until Stella came along.  
With Stella came Joe, for the two of them were never really apart.  
Then, through Joe, she met Kevin and me and she wasn't alone anymore.  
Her life had taken a turn for the better.  
She'd quit her obsessive compulsive ways and I later found out her father had agreed on letting her quit her psychiatric therapies.  
I still hated Mr. Misa for letting a psychiatrist make up for his absence. If he'd been there for her, made her feel like we did, happy and normal, then she wouldn't have needed it in the first place.

But it made me understand completely how Macy felt. Her best friend, the one that had saved her from a lonely life and had introduced her to her most important source of joy (the band) was now gone and I cringed at the idea of how that must affect her. I could very clearly imagine that this wasn't good for her and I cursed the bastard who did this twice. Who disrupted the delicate balance of our little group of friends?

"Its okay, Mace. We'll be here for you, always and I promise, you won't lose Stella and you won't lose me. It's going to be all right" I said fiercely, my heart tugging for her and I vowed, on that moment, that I would stay true to that promise, nobody would leave her on my shift!

I broke my promise almost immediately as Kevin stormed into the room minutes later, startling Macy, who squished herself against my chest.  
The panic in his eyes made Goosebumps erupt all over my skin and I hugged the brunette tightly.

"Kevin?" I questioned.

"Joe!" He nearly screamed and I now noticed the tears running over his face in the darkness of my room. "He's gone! I can't find him anywhere! Joe's gone missing!"

I froze and my heart stuttered in my chest. _No,_ _he can't be._ Macy withdrew her hands as I stood up to grab Kevin by his shoulders. Much alike to how Joe had done that to Macy.

"Kevin?" I didn't recognise my own voice. "Tell me you're…" I didn't know what I wanted to say. _Joking_? He wouldn't joke about that, not after what happened. My heart sank into my feet. Joe, my brother, my cheer on bad days. Joe who knew me inside and out. Joe who I knew inside and out. He couldn't be. How could he be?  
"I found this." He said, showing me a little heap of broken glass in his hand. I hadn't noticed it before. I was puzzled for a few seconds, considering the possibility that Kevin was wrong.  
Then I recognised it. It was Stella's picture, shattered.

A human mind wasn't supposed to deal with this amount of stress and I certainly wasn't a superhuman. I collapsed.

I tried holding myself up by his shoulders, but my knees buckled underneath me. "No."  
My fingers clutched Kevin's t-shirt, feeling his guitar-pick beneath the fabric, clutching so tightly my fingers hurt and I felt him tremble as he bend down too and hugged me. The picture lay forgotten beside us.

The inevitable thought, the possibility I'd tried to keep at bay forced itself into my head.  
_Something, someone wants to hurt us._ The fright settled deeply within my bones.

And with that conclusion came the realisation that this person already _had. _He took Joe and Stella and was perfectly capable of hurting them at this very moment. That this person, and I had no doubt it was the same, _was _probably hurting them. Keeping them captive.  
Or… Or worse.

"We need… Police?" Normally, I would've been embarrassed by the insecure tone of my voice, the question. Normally was not now.  
Kevin nodded and questioned; "Macy, could you?"

Apparently, she could, I felt her arms on my shoulders and her cheek against mine.  
"I'm so… Nick." She whispered. "Damn. I think I… It's going to be okay." Her voice was strained, even more distant then it'd been when it was just Stella.  
I felt weak for being the one crying when surely, she was more affected by this then I was, or so I presumed. But she was stoically rubbing my back and I couldn't do much more then hold her in return.

Joe, Stella. I could only hope that wherever they were, they were together. I felt Macy's kiss on my cheek, but I dismissed my imagination of a smile. That was ridiculous.

* * *

Kevin and I were rarely apart after that. My nervous breakdown had scared him to his wits and I hated the look in Kevin's eyes every time he passed something that related to Joe or Stella. His shoulders were tense, all the time and his walking had become hunched. He didn't talk as much as he used to. He was silent with us; most of the time, for none of us spoke very often. Only the necessary things; 'Any news?' – 'Pass the… nevermind.' – 'yeah, I know. Me too.' – 'the police said…'  
And so on and so on. We were locked up in our own little bubble, scared of what was outside of it.  
Kevin had grown the annoying habit of playing with his necklace, with the guitar-pick Joe had given him for his birthday. I'd taken Stella's picture that still rested in the shattered frame. Macy was just silent, reserved.

Mostly we were just sitting, lying or standing next to each other. Just existing.  
Me, him and occasionally Macy. She wanted to be alone at times and we understood she needed her space. Her space for mourning, mostly in the guesthouse.  
Because as days passed, our hopes got lower and lower. I cursed the sun every time it set and rose.  
Endless days with nothing, though it hadn't been a week since Joe's disappearance. No-one knew who would want to do this to us. Who had a vendetta against Joe and Stella? I couldn't think of anyone that would want to do this. Still might want to do this to us.

It was one of the rare moments that a voice filled the house. Macy's father was on the phone and I was strangely happy that Macy's back was turned to me so I could scowl at the offending phone from my renewed position besides the phone, in the armchair.

Of course he called _now_, now that someone— someones had been kidnapped. Now that Macy was in potential life-threatening danger.  
And still; just a phone call. He cared that much about her. As much as a phone call. To make sure she was okay. I was starting to hate the man that had caused her so much grief in the past and even now paying the minimum amount of attention to her on a moment where she would need everyone dear to her.

I turned my head and the movement was exhausting on itself. Once more, I hadn't slept in days and it was starting to wear me out.

"No father." I almost snorted at the usage of the formal word. "I won't attend any more lessons."

I was confused for a moment. I didn't know Macy was following lessons of any kind. She was on vacation with us after all.  
I actually snorted now. _Vacation_. I had to tell Joe…

A silent constriction in my chest almost made me move in my half-laying position on the armchair. It hurt beyond anything I'd ever felt. I couldn't tell Joe anything. He wasn't here and the police had said…  
No. I couldn't think of that. I had to hold on to the hope, hold on to my prayers that he would return.

_"…but it is quite possible that your brother and your friend have already been…"_

It couldn't be. It couldn't be so that some psycho maniac had killed my brother and his best friend.  
Psycho.

I realised, with sadness pricking behind my eyes that Macy's 'lessons' were probably the psychiatric sessions she'd had when younger. The ones she hadn't actually needed, but were the only place where she would actually be cared for.

I wanted to move, to walk away from the conversation I didn't want to hear. But I didn't.  
I knew that pacing, doing mindless things wouldn't help. Everything I did was accompanied by the vision of a blonde haired girl and my brother. Laughing together. Crying together. Being together, breaking up with each other. Teasing the other.  
Dying with the other.

I wished Kevin was here. For his presence was soothing, but also because there was the fear. That undeniable and completely logical fear that he would be taken from me too.

I didn't know if I could take that. If I could take another part of my heart being ripped out. Another blow to my already aching inside. I didn't think I would survive that. I had been right.

"No. It's not that. I've had enough… Yes." Macy's voice was soft, as it had been ever since that day when she stepped out of the police car.  
I could still recall her face perfectly. The pain I only now recognised. She'd had it back then, already hurting like I was now.  
I couldn't imagine anything being worse then the pain I was feeling now. The pain of loosing. But it had gotten worse with me.  
Had it gotten worse for Macy?

"I know that that is your wish, but I've made my decision." Silence I didn't feel like figuring out. "Nothing concrete yet."

_Joe, brother, where are you?_ I silently questioned. I missed him so much. I missed him like I'd never missed anyone before.  
I felt a silent sear escaping. I looked down and it dripped down on my shirt and I realised I'd worn this for over five days now.  
Stella would've killed me.

I almost laughed. Almost. It was insane, the way I was thinking, the way I was using the past tense. Would she ever find out? God how I wanted to hear her screech in rage now.

Macy hung up the phone and sighed deeply, before she turned around and watched me hang in the chair for a few quiet moments. I hadn't moved since she started phoning.

"I…" She started, before she seemed to swallow some words. "I have something to do."  
She hurried out of the room. The click of the door felt like a blow to the chest, seeing her walk away like that hurt. Not knowing if she would return. I shuddered again. I couldn't lose them too.

But maybe I already had.  
Macy drowning in her own fear, Kevin overworked and as depressed as I was. It was hurting. It was agony. It was pure and crushing agony, when it was added to the emptiness.

Kevin was once more at the police station. I didn't think it would help, but it gave him something to do. It gave him a purpose. So I was grateful that the possibility existed.  
My eyes focussed on a random spot on the ceiling. Seeing their faces in the pale white colour. Blue eyes and brown eyes, staring at me. Pleadingly. Trying to tell me who did this to them.  
But I couldn't figure it out. I couldn't understand who would want to do this to them. Surely nobody could hate them, that was impossible. Everyone loved them, would do anything to keep them with us.  
The tips of my fingers rubbed over the carpeted floor, but I didn't feel the texture. It was just another illusion of being able to do something.

It was how I fell asleep; it was how I woke up. In that position, but also feeling like an empty shell.  
I woke up from a knock on the door. I was used to it by now. We kept all the doors and windows locked ever since Joe… disappeared. I think we wouldn't have done it, if the police hadn't insisted, in the hope Stella would come stumbling in or something, but there was a point in trying to keep ourselves safe. We had to.

I slandered through the hallway, not in the mood for anything that remotely resembled a pace. I presumed it was Kevin, he'd understand. He'd seen me.

Vaguely, in the back of my numbed mind, I wondered where Macy was at, Wondering what she was doing, if she was in the guesthouse again. Wondering if she was safe.

When I opened the door, that thought rose to the surface immediately, knocking me down with the force of an anvil between the eyes.

The broad form I'd seen behind the window of the door wasn't Kevin. It was an officer, one I'd hadn't seen before. It wasn't the same one that had brought Macy home after that terrible night.

In his unfamiliar hand he held a necklace. A necklace with a guitar-pick.

* * *

Macy found me on the ground in the hallway. The police officer next to me, with no clue what to do. He was just a cop, not even a detective.

"Shh." She'd whispered. "Shh. It's okay. It's all gonna be okay. It'll be fine. You'll be fine." Her arms didn't quite fit around me. Her words didn't quite fit the situation, but I didn't care. I needed them. I needed those words and those small arms.

Both my brothers were gone and the pain it left was so horrible, so soul-wrecking, that I couldn't do anything but break down in the only arms I had left.  
Macy's.  
For she loved them just as much as I did. She would do as much to get them back.

"I want them back." I whispered. "I want them…"

'You will." She soothed, shooing the officer away. Telling him this wasn't the time for interrogation. He muttered something about not understanding how the murderer… He corrected himself after a glare from Macy… how the criminal had gotten past the police security. Surely nobody could've gotten to the three of us.  
She wouldn't budge. She all but kicked him out and guided me to the living room. Maybe the couch would be a good idea.

"You'll be with them soon. You have to be. We'll have them forever."

"Yes… Yes." I agreed. I was willing to go along with everything she said now. I leaned on her heavily, the image of Kevin dancing before my eyes. Knowing she shouldn't be the one supporting me, because I was heavier then she was.

"It's all in order." She muttered, supporting me and confusing me as we passed the couch. "All in order."

I nodded, trying wiping at my cheeks, which were covered in a mess of tears and spit. She gently pried my hands from my face and hushed me again.

She loved them just as much as I did. Why wasn't she hurting?  
It was all a bit blurry. The hollow thing inside my chest, the place where they'd been, sucked everything but the hurt away.  
I noticed we were going to the guest house and I figured that was a good idea too. Away from the familiar things that would remind me of them.  
I struggled just a little when I remembered Stella'd been living in that little house.

Macy kept on pulling me along with her. I wished she'd been here earlier. When the cops came. She hadn't been there to catch me. I'd fallen hard.  
I didn't want to die too. Why hadn't she been here?

My vision seemed to get clearer again as I realised she'd _always _been there when someone had disappeared, or deliberately not.

She'd been the last one to see Stella alive. The last one to have been with her. They claimed it was memory loss.  
She'd been outside the house when Joe went on his last run. She came to my room hours later.  
She had walked away just hours before they found out Kevin was gone too.  
Wouldn't Macy, tormented by her past, her past of always being alone, want to keep her friends with her forever? Just like I did? Why would she...

No. I was messed up, emotional. I couldn't be thinking such things.

My eyes widened when I was dropped on Stella's bed. Feeling the smell of her perfume penetrate my nostrils.  
I watched silently as Macy went to her own bed and started pushing it aside.

A faint whisper was all I heard of her "I was so lucky to have found this place…" Her chestnut hair fell over her shoulders like a waterfall when she bend down and suddenly, something clicked.

The look on her face was one of joy when she walked back to me. Why was she joyous? She should be sad! She should be crying!  
I knew my thoughts were accusing. I didn't care at that point, she deserved them.

But I let her guide me, shoving everything aside except for the fact that she was the only close human being with a warm skin and the will to comfort me. She was my Macy, after all. I loved her. Like she loved me, above all.

There was a staircase underneath her bed. The thought was almost funny, if the hole in the ground hadn't been so dark. I didn't want to go in there.

Shouldn't Macy be calling with her plastic-surgeon father? He should know how to keep people with you forever. He kept people young after all.

I struggled in her hold, but found I wasn't strong enough. My muscles wouldn't cooperate and the girl was strong. Stupid athleticism.

My eyes slowly got used to the darkness around me. My head was light. I hadn't eaten for hours. Or were it days?  
I felt funny. My eyes were dry, as was my mouth and my throat.  
I didn't care. It wasn't as if I was going to sing.

Her bracelets scratched on the wall as she steered me into a room. Black spots appeared in front of my eyes.  
The last thing I saw was a chair. A creepy chair with chains.

* * *

When I woke up in the semi-darkness, my head was clearer then ever; Joe was gone, Kevin was too and Stella, after all this time, was probably dead. Macy had taken me to a dark room. She didn't love them as much as I did.

She loved them more.

To a level of dependence. To a level of insanity.

I was seated in the chair and I desperately tried to pull myself free of the chains. Nothing happened, of course.  
I saw a shadow, knowing she was moving behind me.

"Why?" was the only thing I could force to release my lips.

"Because I never want to loose you. You mean everything to me, you know that, Nicky. You're so smart!"  
She walked into my vision. Half of her face hidden behind an operation-mask. Her face pale in the flickering light of lamp above me.

"I'm just so glad daddy was willing to teach me how to do this." She told me. My stomach tightened. It had been Macy; it had been Macy all along. Macy had kidnapped her own friends. Macy was the psychopath in my head.  
Why hadn't I seen this before? There had been enough evidence, hadn't there?  
Of course there was, but who would've suspected sweet little Macy capable of kidnapping her best friends?  
Who would've though she would do it to her own boyfriend?

Not even said boyfriend had.

"I made a few mistakes, of course." She noted, stroking a hand over my face and I noticed a smear of dirt on her normally soft cheek. "I shouldn't have taken Stella first, though she was the first in my order." _The order in which she'd met us._ "It caused unnecessary hurt for Joe. But it was what you wanted. You said it yourself!"

Suddenly, with a punch of her hand, the chair fell backwards, until I was lying horizontal in the small underground room. I stared at the much abused ceiling, silently praying for what I didn't know.

"I was so happy when you send me out with Joe… Thank you for that; I thought I'd never get you separated. I wanted each of you to have your own special treatment and he was so sweet, as always. So happy when I reunited him with Stella forever." I could see her grin behind her mask. Her eyes were burning.

My throat was cramped, I couldn't say a word. I wanted to pursue, to beg her not to do this.  
What had happened to my sweet Macy? The one with the smiles? The one that fainted at our sight? Why didn't that work now?

She went rummaging in some drawers I hadn't seen before. They made the space look even smaller, but I didn't look further when Macy spoke again.

"Kevin was easy, once there were just two of you left. Ran straight into my arms, the sweetheart. What would we all have done without Kevin?"

"What have you done to them?"

"To your right, to your right." She hastily said, waving her hand to her own left.

Frightened, but wanting to know, I turned my head and the sight made my stomach turn.  
On three chairs, three simple wooden chairs, sat my brothers on either side of Stella.  
They were pale, they were smooth and their mouths were pulled into a grimace that reminded me of the mouths of ventriloquist dolls. Their eyes closed, their faces faced the ground.  
They were hunched and rid of all the beauty they once held. They were lifeless.

"I applied wax to their skins. They'll be beautiful forever, just like you. You'll never leave me. I'll never be alone again. We'll be together forever!" Macy's voice was singing and even though I was under the impression her singing skills were beyond bad, she made shudders run up and through my spine.  
She was almost jumping up and down in glee now.  
Neglected as she was as a kid, this is what came out of it. She wasn't to blame, really.

I still started screaming, shouting for help, struggling against my bonds. I didn't think anyone would be able to hear me.  
I hadn't heard my brothers after all, but it couldn't hurt to try. I screamed louder then I ever had before, my throat already hurting.

She was annoyed now, but ignored my antics as she faced me. "Nick, stop for a second. Aren't you happy nothing can tear us apart now? I'm so scared you'll leave me, so I have to do this. Get it?"

Yes I did and at the same time no, I did not. Of course not.

I was starting to think that psych had been a good move of her dad.  
The lessons in surgery… not so much.

Her hand pressed a cloth over my mouth and I gasped in shock. A sweet smell ate its way through my throat and I felt my eyelids flutter. I could only watch in horror as she grabbed a scalpel from a tray besides her.

"You're going to be even prettier then they are. I've had lots of practise now!" She told me enthusiastically, before my senses dulled and darkness engulfed me. I tried to fight, oh I did. But she was at an advantage. I had to loose.

The last thing I heard was her singing voice. Haunting in the small, echoing room.

* * *

Macy was sitting on the ground of her little room contently. The black walls were scratched and covered with chalk-notes, but she only had eyes for her four masterpieces.

"Never gonna leave me." She whispered. Sounding so much like the little girl playing with dolls. Her smile was bright, despite the smear of blood on her face.

_"…__I wish we could stop the time and just stay in this moment forever…"_

"Forever." She promised.


End file.
